A tribute for Moms tag....
When I read this tag from Mommy rose I immediately grab it. I love this tag most specially because this is all about our mother. And who among us don't want to give tribute to our mother right? I had written a story and a tribute to my mama way back October 25, 2005 in my other blog.
But I decided to copy and paste it here so here it is.
To the most wonderful Woman.
There could be more happier for a daughter to come home seeing her mother welcoming her arrival. For a a warmth smile and a warmth hug of a mother is too meaningful that a daughter could'n't forget for the rest of her life.
Today is the 6th year death anniversary of my beloved MAMA. A woman who bring me to this world, a woman full of strength to face the trials in life, a woman who loved her chidlren even to the point of sacrificing her ownself, a woman who believe and have faith in God, a good daughter and a faithful and loving wife to my late PAPA.
When my father had his first stroke he couldn't back to worked my MAMA became the bread winner of the family (teacher). I saw her strength, courage, positive outlook in life, faith and trust in God, and her undying love to my PAPA. Their relationship grew stronger everyday that made me believe that is what makes my PAPA in just a month time he were able to regained his physical strength.
As of this writing, to this second, minute and hour is when my mother surrender her life to her CREATOR. We admitted her at the hospital Oct 1. She told us that she felt pain at her back. She was ambulatory when we admitted her. I never thoughted that the next day will be our last day to talked together, to see her smile, to hear her voice, to feel her warm hands squeezing my hand, to bathed her, to change her clothes, to lay beside her. BEcause she had an attacked that made her put into coma. The doctor talked to me in his private office of what happened to my MAMA and the expectation for the next days to come.
Hearing everything I was at a lost. I don't know what to do I couldn't let myself breakdown because I was the one manning everything. I had to stand amidst everything and I had to let myself more stronger. I cried a lot but I don't let my brother and sister see me. I had to put a facade that I am strong and I can handle everything.
For almost a month, we stayed at the hospital she suffered several attacked that it reached to the point that I couldn't bear to see her pain. Deep inside I screamed the word MAMA dont leave as this soon. I knew as a daughter and mother we have this connection that only us we knew. Because I saw her tears streaming down her face. It was very painful to me seeing her suffer her like that. But I saw her courage and hope that somehow she will regain her physical strength. At her bedside, I talked to her and let her hear our prayer as she managed to communicate me through a movement of her eyebrows. Seeing that make me feel soooooo happy.
Until the time that the doctor told me again that there is no hope for her to live. And that I WILL CHOSE THE DAY WHEN THEY WILL TAKE ALL THOSE TUBES ATTACHED TO HER. It struck me the most because it will be a goodbye to MAMA. And it will only take a miracle and Gods will if she will live without all those tubes. Still I did hope and pray that somehow God will make a miracle to my beloved MAMA.
Today, on this very day at quarter to 9:00 am, the doctor took out the tubes and all the aparatus that was attached to her body. I was there beside her, my brother, my sister, my neice and some relatives. I was the one standing just across the doctor, looking at my MAMA. I saw her frail body. I squeeze her hand remembering that those hands nurtured us lead us as we are today. I saw her feet and remember how those feet walked everyday going to and from work. I caress her head and I remember that those gray hairs is where we have a good time. Plucking her gray hair makes me frown because I dont want to do it and she will bribe me then. If only I could go back the time.
When the doctor pull all the tubes and she was left alone breathing without any help. I feel her breathing deteriorate. And my mind rushed back in the past. All those memories just flash one my one in my mind. As I was looking at her caressing her I utter a words " I WILL LET YOU GO MAMA I WILL LET YOU GO YOU WILL MEET PAPA SOON" Tears flowed from my eyes it was so painful seeing her leave so soon. It was too painful for me. I was silent I just let memories keep on flashing in my mind. I stared at her body so frail yet it marks all the strength of a woman. I grieve until this time. I know it is a lifetime healing of losing a wonderful woman in my life. How I wish she is still with us. How I wish ...............
For you my MAMA I will always remember you. As long as I live, you're the GREATEST WOMAN I EVER HAD IN THIS WORLD. I may never say many times this words " I LOVE YOU " when you were still alive but I DID, I DO, AND I ALWAYS WILL TILL THE end of my borrowed life.