Saturday, February 28, 2009

A tribute for Moms tag....

When I read this tag from Mommy rose I immediately grab it. I love this tag most specially because this is all about our mother. And who among us don't want to give tribute to our mother right? I had written a story and a tribute to my mama way back October  25, 2005 in my other blog.

But I decided to copy and paste it here so here it is. 


To the most wonderful Woman.

There could be more happier for a daughter to come home seeing her mother welcoming her arrival. For a a warmth smile and a warmth hug of a mother is too meaningful that a daughter could'n't forget for the rest of her life. 

  Today is the 6th year death anniversary of my beloved MAMA. A woman who bring me to this world, a woman full of strength to face the trials in life, a woman who loved her chidlren even to the point of sacrificing her ownself, a woman who believe and have faith in God, a good daughter and a faithful and loving wife to my late PAPA. 

  When my father had his first stroke he couldn't back to worked my MAMA became the bread winner of the family (teacher). I saw her strength, courage, positive outlook in life, faith and trust in God, and her undying love to my PAPA. Their relationship grew stronger everyday that made me believe that is what makes my PAPA in just a month time he were able to regained his physical strength.

  As of this writing, to this second, minute and hour is when my mother surrender her life to her CREATOR. We admitted her at the hospital Oct 1. She told us that she felt pain at her back. She was ambulatory when we admitted her. I never thoughted that the next day will be our last day to talked together, to see her smile, to hear her voice, to feel her warm hands squeezing my hand, to bathed her, to change her clothes, to lay beside her. BEcause she had an attacked that made her put into coma. The doctor talked to me in his private office of what happened to my MAMA and the expectation for the next days to come. 

  Hearing everything I was at a lost. I don't know what to do I couldn't let myself breakdown because I was the one manning everything. I had to stand amidst everything and I had to let myself more stronger. I cried a lot but I don't let my brother and sister see me. I had to put a facade that I am strong and I can handle everything. 

  For almost a month, we stayed at the hospital she suffered several attacked that it reached to the point that I couldn't bear to see her pain. Deep inside I screamed the word MAMA dont leave as this soon. I knew as a daughter and mother we have this connection that only us we knew. Because I saw her tears streaming down her face. It was very painful to me seeing her suffer her like that. But I saw her courage and hope that somehow she will regain her physical strength. At her bedside, I talked to her and let her hear our prayer as she managed to communicate me through a movement of her eyebrows. Seeing that make me feel soooooo happy. 

  Until the time that the doctor told me again that there is no hope for her to live. And that I WILL CHOSE THE DAY WHEN THEY WILL TAKE ALL THOSE TUBES ATTACHED TO HER. It struck me the most because it will be a goodbye to MAMA. And it will only take a miracle and Gods will if she will live without all those tubes. Still I did hope and pray that somehow God will make a miracle to my beloved MAMA. 

  Today, on this very day at quarter to 9:00 am, the doctor took out the tubes and all the aparatus that was attached to her body. I was there beside her, my brother, my sister, my neice and some relatives. I was the one standing just across the doctor, looking at my MAMA. I saw her frail body. I squeeze her hand remembering that those hands nurtured us lead us as we are today. I saw her feet and remember how those feet walked everyday going to and from work. I caress her head and I remember that those gray hairs is where we have a good time. Plucking her gray hair makes me frown because I dont want to do it and she will bribe me then. If only I could go back the time.

  When the doctor pull all the tubes and she was left alone breathing without any help. I feel her breathing deteriorate. And my mind rushed back in the past. All those memories just flash one my one in my mind. As I was looking at her caressing her I utter a words " I WILL LET YOU GO MAMA I WILL LET YOU GO YOU WILL MEET PAPA SOON" Tears flowed from my eyes it was so painful seeing her leave so soon. It was too painful for me. I was silent I just let memories keep on flashing in my mind. I stared at her body so frail yet it marks all the strength of a woman. I grieve until this time. I know it is a lifetime healing of losing a wonderful woman in my life. How I wish she is still with us. How I wish ...............

  For you my MAMA I will always remember you. As long as I live,  you're the GREATEST WOMAN I EVER HAD IN THIS WORLD. I may never say many times this words " I LOVE YOU " when you were still alive but I DID, I DO,  AND I ALWAYS WILL TILL THE end of my borrowed life.




19 comments:

Lanie said...

Ate Kim, mag hilak man ta mag basa ani oy. Nice posting ug usa pa, nice maka paguwas sa gibati. Daghan man diay ka ug update diri, maayo ka naa jud time. Anyway, are you available for laag sa Wednesday? :D I can pick you up, dayon kuyog nata mag kuha ni Cleo. ^_^

Hi! I'm Grace said...

God bless you in the way you honor your mother, Kim. Second to God, they are the people that we should be more thankful for.
I like the way you appreciate and thanks your mothe. :)

chubskulit said...

I love reading your tribute to you Mama ate Kim, naiiyak ako.. When Papa died, I regret that I wasn't as showy with my love to him... mahirap pala pag namatayan ka with someone and di mo man lang nakausap..

Manang Kim said...

~~hi lan, will see mura ug naa mi lakaw ana ni loren mangahoy siguro mi kay la nami wood hehe.

Manang Kim said...

Hi Grace, thanks for the compliment. YOur are right, after God we do have to honor and respect our parents it is in the Bible but many people don't realize it. And it is kind of sad that many do realize it when they are already gone.

Manang Kim said...

Hi rose, ako din nung kinacopy-paste ko to ni hinde ko na basa lahat kasi iyak na naman ako. My parents passing is still painful I guess it is always in my heart because they are part of me.
Right, kaya iiyak tayo because we regretted we never show how we loved them. Kaya nga sabi ko sa mga friends ko mga pamangkin ko that we have to honor, respect and love them so much. Kasi in the end when they are not here with us we realize that all they do is to our goodness and we regretted we never appreciated them and show that we loved them. Thanks for dropping by.

Umma said...

Waaahhh. I cried bucket Manang Kim reading your entry.. I can relate to your feelings.. Sad man kaayo oi! huhuhu..

My mom was in the verge of that situation too, but thanks GOD she made it. She has a complicated diabetes and now in dialysis twice a week, I know its expensive but that's the way to make her feel better.

At least, she was reunited with your papa na.. Im sure she doesnt feel alone over there.

Weng Forsgren said...

Manang kim,
I read all what you wrote. Honestly na touched ako,napaiyak ako. I have some feelings na di ko maexpress because of sadnes, until now, na miss ko yong papa ko and my grandparents who took care of me when I was a kid.Not easy, napakasakit. parang serious yata tong post mo, di ko nalang san binasa hehe,makasakit ng dibdib.

cge maiba naman tayo..about sa imong giingon nga pwede ba ang beef liver. pwede man oi, basta liver.nagagamit man ko dri ana ky usahay di man ko kakita og chicken liver.

Manang Kim said...

Hi Umz, that is one part of my life that is so painful. Losing a parents is not a joke talaga. It is a good thing your mama survive the ordeal kaya we have to love them more and more each day.
What makes me feel okay is the thought that both of them are watching at us from heaven. They are our angels.

Manang Kim said...

Hi weng, ohhh sorry talaga at napaiyak ko kayo ako nga din nung kinacopy-paste ko ito I read some of the lines I started to cry kaya hinde ko din na lang na read lahat. Ramdam ko pa kasi ang sakit I don't know I think the pain will never leave kasi pag it will leave then that means I also forgotten them. One thing though they are always in my prayer and I knew they always watched us.

Okey from the side and happy note...sige I will try the beef liver kasi maraming mura dito. Thanks for the visit.

Mom of Four said...

Manang Kim, that was a great story about your mother. She was one brave woman. You look like her, now I know what you will look like when you get older. I am so glad to see daughter like you who really cherished your mother so much. I assume that you did have a great mother and daughter relationship.

Take care Manang Kim, have fun!

dhemz said...

makaluha luha man sad ta sa imong post tKim...that was very sweet of you....:) Your mom is very lucky to have you....:)

Thanks for sharing it to us tKim...:)makahilak man sad ta....

Marites said...

Hi Kim, this is so touching! Am sure, your mother is now at peace with the Lord.

Clarissa said...

I like the way you appreciate and give thanks to your Mom--napa-iyak tuloy ako!! I remember my late father--we didn't talk nor seen each other when he passed away...(T_T)

Manang Kim said...

~~Hi Mommy Liz, we became very close after I resigned from work to take care of her. Too bad she is gone I wish she is with us still.

Manang Kim said...

~~Hi Maritess, oo nga that is just the only thing that keeps me feel okay when I think of her with God now, no more pain or suffering just happiness forever. Thanks for dropping by.

~~Hi Claire, yes mahirap mawalan nang parents diba? Siguro mas mahirap kung di mo man lang makausap or makita sa kanilang huling araw. Ako nga kahit I take care of my mom until her death I was at her side pero hanggang ngayon masakit pa rin. But life has to go on will just pray for their repose soul. Thanks for dropping by.

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